How can I stop stalking my ex and his new partner?

I'm in desperate need of help! I have a great boyfriend but my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend constantly plague me. I literally stalk them, unable to let go. I have tried any means possible to learn about what is going on with their lives and I just want to move on. I'm a 21-year-old grad student right now and am on my break, so I have ample time to brood over this issue. Please help me get over this obsession!


How can I help my partner when she has a panic attack?

I need some information about panic attacks. My partner moved with me to NY and, at the time of moving, experienced several attacks of extreme fear.

This has paralyzed her to the extent that she no longer goes to work, her career is on hold, and she requires help traveling, if she travels at all. As well as being incredibly distressing for her, it's not helping our relationship either.

My question relates to my role in helping her recover from this. At present I frequently "overlook" the problem by going everywhere with her and being as supportive as possible. Am I an "enabler"? Should I make her "tough it out," or will she just get better?


Is it okay to replace cravings or "boredom eating" with herbal teas?

I am currently trying to revise my eating habits to eat less often (I'm a throughout the day snacker, and normally don't eat meals). Is it okay to replace cravings or "boredom eating" with herbal teas? I was told that tea is a no calorie drink, and yet it fills me up when I'm hungry. I have started to replace most of my cravings with tea now, so that I actually eat a lot less than before. Is tea healthy for you if it is no caffeine, herbal, and I use honey to sweeten it? I am not used to drinking much of anything in the day and am fairly slim, so could the extra water intake have any weight gaining effects on me? Could this be a healthy diet?


How can I overcome my fears?

How do you deal with your fears? I have a fear of other people dying or of myself and others getting a disease. My imagination runs wild with these thoughts, and it's hard to control these worries. I'm always thinking "what if." My friends tell me not to worry unless it actually happens. I know this is true and good advice, but I find it hard to stop worrying. If you could give me some tips on how to control my imagination, it would be much appreciated.


Is there a connection between emotions and physical pain?

When I hear someone make a negative comment about me it sometimes sticks and for some reason my chest will begin to hurt. A friend of mine said it was emotional shock. For a while the feeling went away, but then it got worse. Now the pain will range from my heart to my left arm, depending on how badly (depressed) I feel. In general, I want to know if I should be concerned or if it's just as my friend says: "emotional shock," that's just gotten worse.


Is it safe to chew and spit out food?

I have been chewing and spitting large amounts of food (pretty much always sweet stuff — pastries, chocolate, etc.) almost every night for eight or nine months. I am eating a healthy, balanced diet otherwise, maybe a little on the lower caloric side (1300 to 1500 calories per day). My chewing and spitting sessions usually follow a balanced meal. I know this is a type of eating disorder. I have done a lot of research online and I know that there are side effects, although they vary depending on who you ask. Some sites mention that chewing and spitting activates the release of insulin and results in hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance and weight gain. Is this true? How long would it take to develop these problems? Are these reversible if I were to stop this behavior?


Do male-identified people have body image concerns?

1) My boyfriend, who I have been dating for a while now, says that he is fat and I don't think he is. He is built, but he isn't fat. And he talks about it all the time, and I just don't know what to say to him. He said that when he used to talk with his other girlfriend about it, that she would say, "well, go on a diet," and he said that made him feel like he was fat. And I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I know that by losing weight, he would feel better about himself. But I like him for who he is and how he looks. But what should I say to him when he says things like he is fat, do you think I'm fat, etc.?

2) I am a male, 24 years old, height 5'10", and currently I weigh 143 lbs... When I was 17 or so, I weighed a hefty 190 lbs... at that time, that really had a negative effect on my self image, and now at 143, I still don't think I'm thin enough... I have lost all my weight 100 percent through diet and running about 20 miles/week... but I don't eat enough and I always worry before I leave home if I "look ok"? Do I have serious issues?!?