How can I find someone who understands my sobriety?

I am an ex-hardcore drug user — speed and cocaine to heroin — with 25 months of sobriety from drugs and alcohol. Now that I do not go out to clubs or party, I am finding difficulty in relationships.

Women do not understand why I do not drink. When they ask, I tell them where drugs and alcohol have gotten me in the past. This always seems to scare them off.

I feel guilty not telling them that I used to be an intravenous drug user, but when they ask about the tattoo on my arm that symbolizes a promise to myself never to inject again. I am honest about what it stands for. I never shared needles, I have been tested for AIDS/Hep-C and all of the tests have returned negative.

I am having difficulty finding someone that understands.


Do I have hypochondria?

I've always been something of a hypochondriac, although my friends and family know nothing about it. As a child, I would regularly convince myself that I had appendicitis. As a teenager, I worried about being pregnant despite never having had vaginal intercourse. As a college student, I worked in a hospice for late-stage AIDS patients. Although I never had contact with blood or semen, I convinced myself that I may have contracted HIV somehow by doing their laundry with some kind of minor cuts on my hands I never noticed, or because a patient drooled on my hands. I've been tested at least three times since then, but I still haven't gotten over it and am nervously preoccupied with the idea that I have infected the whole two people that I've ever slept with. At the moment, I'm also convinced I have cancer. I *know* I'm completely wrong about all of this... I know, I know. And get this: I'm in medical school now. It's only going to get worse. Help me!


Am I addicted to methadone?

I have been taking between 5 and 10 mgs of methadone daily. I cannot seem to stop. Every time I try, I get very, very depressed and experience abdominal pain, chills, hot flashes, and sleeplessness. The depression and tremendous anxiety are intolerable and I end up taking more to avoid it. Question: Am I harming my body and/or mind with this stuff? How can I get off without the horrible feelings?


How can I start being more on time?

I read many advice columns and have never seen this issue addressed before. I am always late for work, church, etc... I have always considered myself just not a morning person, but I'm basically late for everything. It drives everyone crazy!! What can I do to get out of this "habit," if I can call it this!! I do like my job, but just don't want to get out of bed, mostly because I just don't feel rested. So I get speeding tickets getting to work and now I'm afraid I may soon be getting in trouble at work!! Any advice would be helpful. I'm sure there are many other people like myself!! The worse part of this is how my mornings at work are ruined because I feel so bad I'm late and try to compensate for this, which just causes more stress. I'm worried that I will not get a good reference if I do move to a new better paying job! Thanks in advance for answering my question!!


How can I find help to stop drinking?

I have just realized that I am not able to handle alcohol. Whenever I go to a bar or a club, I drink to excess. I do not have any urge to drink. However, when I am in a club or a bar, the same thing happens: I drink too much! This is making me think that I am an alcoholic. My question is: Where can I go for help? Thanks.


Was that really heroin I took?

My friend and I snorted a 10 bag each of heroin. Our heads began to feel heavy after ten minutes. Soon we entered into a dream world in which we hallucinated heavily. We talked to people who did not exist and we were very confused. I could not remember anything about who I was. I only remember certain parts of the four-hour trip that followed but I felt like I was on mushrooms for about two days. We could not read for that amount of time (nothing was in focus). What do you think we took? PCP? Bad synthetic heroin?